I'm terrified of losing my job but at the same time I dont know if I can even do it anymore.
People expect me to be okay with being on disability. I'm far from okay with that.
I expect more out of myself than I'm capable of achieving.
I had to back out of (temporarily) the one thing I live for (working with CF/CFers) because I cant handle the suffering and death right now.
I've gone over the edge, been pulled back and I'm now teetering on it.
I talked my way out of the mental hospital. I couldn't stay there any longer.
it was making me worse.
I'm doing an intensive outpatient program.
Drastically changing my meds.
Coming to terms with the reality that after bouncing the diagnoses back & forth for years...I may infact be bipolar.
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