What is Happiness (unfinished)

What is happiness?

Do any of us really know?
Sure, we smile.
Never letting true feelings flow.
In another's shoes, we wouldn't last a mile.

We all know pain, each experience is unique.
Physical or emotional, we suffer in our own way.
We all search for an outlet when our future looks bleak.
Friends offer advice, their words seem cliche.

A new day, a new stress.
Another knife in the heart.
We try to pick up the pieces, and clean up this mess.
Life can be painful, bittersweet & tart.

Helplessness

I am not suicidal, but I think the only reason for that is my mom. she has lost 2 kids already, and I wasn't supposed to live to be 2yrs old. Her life has been nothing but stress, worry, and medical crisis. She is what keeps me here. 
But that being said, I feel living is pointless for me. I'm not going to accomplish any of the things I wanted to. I constantly feel alone. I'm pretty much a useless person. and I'm not really sure what there is left for me here.